Are you divorced or going through a divorce right now?

Do you feel broken, like a failure, and that your life is falling apart?

Are you scared and alone?

I’m not a doctor, therapist, psychologist, life coach or anything like that.

My name is TeriAnn Trevenen and I’m a divorced mother with two beautiful little girls (7 and 10).

I divorced my ex 3 years ago and if you told me then that my life would look like it does now, I never would’ve believed you.

The following are a few tips that you can follow to support your children and maintain a relationship of trust and understanding as they work through your divorce:

• Don’t discuss adult issues with children.

• Never speak badly about your ex in front of your kids.

• Don’t ask your children about your ex.

• Make the kids a priority.

•Don’t send messages through your children. It will make them feel like they are the middleman for your divorce.

Finally, post-divorce relationships are often where the fears of experiencing heartbreak again collide with the hope and heady infatuation of early attachment. These contrasting emotions, along with any lingering unresolved divorce issues, present certain common challenges in relationships entered into after one or both parties experience divorce.

These are only a few of the issues you will face in relationships after divorce.

Relationships after a divorce can be difficult, but they can teach us powerful lessons and we can develop stronger relationships and connections with people in our life.

Divorce can be devastating financially to one or both parties, but it’s possible to get through it with your finances intact. This is one of those factors that tend to aggravate the divorce process. In some cases, it can even be the root cause of the problem. Educating yourself and taking a few precautions can reduce the financial impact on you and your children.

There are steps that you should take to  protect yourself, your children, and your finances. This doesn’t mean you should strip the family home or empty bank accounts. You should, however, take reasonable steps to safeguard your interests.

You will need to do things like locate and gather all of your personal records, such as your identification, birth certificate, diplomas, bank statements, real estate records, titles, deeds, tax returns, W2 statements, and all other personal documents. You will also need to inventory your entire home, take possession of personal property, and cancel joint utilities.

Before going to an arbitrator, mediator, or attorney, you should do your homework. List your marital assets and get appraisals. You will need to understand the values of the assets. You will also need to assess retirement accounts and your tax situation. Identify joint accounts including a mortgage on your home, home equity loans or lines of credit, student loans, car loans, or loans that you applied for jointly. Just like assets, liabilities may also need to be divided in divorce.

Divorce can have a significant impact on your financial future. In many situations, it’s worth it to spend the time to understand and assess the true value of your assets, determine who’s responsible for debts, take consequences into consideration, and receive financial planning advice prior to a settlement.

Here are some quick tips when it comes to finances:

• Safeguard personal papers and make copies of important
records.

• Make a record of all marital property.

• Secure your more valuable personal property.

• Reduce unnecessary expenses immediately.

• Cancel all jointly owned credit cards and identify joint debts.

• Don’t sign anything until it has been reviewed and approved by your lawyer.

We’ll come back to finances too.

Next is Legal.

When your relationship is over, it’s hard to get used to being alone. In the early phases of divorce, you feel like you will never get through it, but the chaos won’t last forever. There is life after divorce – and hope for happiness as a single woman again. Divorce can leave you depressed, sad, and lonely. It leaves you wondering, now what?

One of the opportunities after divorce is the chance to truly discover yourself. The reason so many don’t seize this opportunity, is because accepting it first requires a genuine desire to heal. Some people choose to remain angry and bitter, to be a victim of their divorce, or to skip the healing process in favor of beginning a new relationship as quickly as possible.

Although each of these responses is normal, none of them will help you cope with divorce or move on. In other words, these reactions to divorce may not allow you to heal.

Divorce is truly a loss in your life. To heal properly, you need to feel your emotions, face the wounds created by your divorce, grieve the loss of what once was. The beautiful thing about allowing yourself to experience your grief, along with a desire to heal, is that you will continue to make small incremental steps toward feeling better.

There are many ways you can heal and grow after a divorce.

• Surround yourself with nurturing people and true friends

• Seek professional support

• Accept the economic reality of divorce and develop a 10-year financial plan

• Stop trying to change your ex and being angry when they don’t

• Understand your fears and your love

• Reinvent yourself

• Find ways to do what you want to do and get uncomfortable

• After a certain period of time, it’s time to move on from the
“pity party”

• Celebrate being single and focus on the future

• Find a support group

When your emotional wounds of grief have healed, you have connected with yourself, given yourself the tools to be successful, and allowed yourself the time and space to heal, you can finally face the world as you truly are—powerful, unique, lovable, and perfect exactly as you are.

Now, I could write about all of the amazing ways to start rebuilding your life, your self-confidence, and your self-esteem but I want to talk about something even more powerful than these Four Fundamentals.

I could write an ebook and send you a lot of details about each of the four fundamentals and maybe you’ll read it, maybe you won’t, maybe it’ll help some, but likely not as much as it could.

Why?

Because the number one thing missing when you’re going through a divorce or healing after a divorce is:

You know it as well as I do.

Very few people in our lives understand why we’re getting a divorce, and even if they “get it,” they still shake their heads behind closed doors and talk about how you could’ve made it work.

It’s one of the reasons we feel so damn alone during this most trying time in our lives.

Now, community and supportive friends alone won’t solve all of our problems either.

The ultimate solution for healing and thriving during and after a divorce is combining all four fundamentals inside of a powerful community.

Imagine joining a community of like-minded women who are going through a divorce or have gone through a divorce and everyone is sharing their wins, loses lessons learned. A community where lifelong friendships are made.

And what if inside of this community, there were powerful women leaders in business and finance, attorneys, therapists, and relationship experts who taught every week about the four fundamentals?

Imagine a whole community of powerful women rising up, supporting each other, sharing with each other, teaching each other, learning from each other, healing together, growing together, and helping each other create their best lives ever.

Well…

I’m excited to tell you that this amazing community actually exists.

It’s called.

Ailani means “High Chief” for women in Hawaiian culture.

And this is what I want for you (and all women) to become.

The “High Chief” in their lives.

The “Ailani.”

After suffering so much from my divorce, I made a commitment to do whatever I could to end the suffering for women like you who are experiencing the same thing.

Ailani is the solution to this ever-growing problem.

Here’s how it works.

We have a private Facebook group where we all connect and it’s open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Every month I bring in experts through online calls to share with us their best information, tools, and tips

We rotate and cover the four principles each month throughout the year.

So on one call we’ll have a therapist come in and teach us exactly how to communicate through a divorce, how to communicate with our children, and how to help everyone understand what is going on.

On the next calll we’ll have an attorney come in and teach us how to negotiate and ensure we don’t get taken advantage of (or any of the hundreds of other issues that come up during a divorce).

We’ll have a financial advisor on another call teaching us how to repair our credit quickly and start planning for the future.

And a different call will bring us a therapist teaching us how to start forgiving ourselves and the processes to start healing from the pain.

Not only will they teach us, but they will provide additional resources, processes, and worksheets to ensure that we actually implement and see the changes that we want in our lives. And then we start all over again the next month and we’ll cover new topics inside of the four principles

All calls are recorded and all resources are available forever in our archive so don’t worry if you miss any.

And while the lessons are amazing and are changing everyone’s lives, it’s the conversations inside of the community after the calls that provide even more value.

Amazing women sharing their interpretations of the call, their personal experiences, tips, and tricks as well.

Of course, there are other women asking for more clarity, about things and having a whole community of women will be there to help.

This community is such a beautiful thing.

BONUS- LIVE RETREATS WHERE WE WILL BRING SOME OF OUR EXPERTS AND COMMUNITY TOGETHER FOR YOU, TO LEARN, GROW, AND NETWORK IN PERSON

I know what you’re thinking, how much is it for such an indepth and powerful community.

Our experts easily charge $300 – $500 per private session.

Multiply that by four weeks and it could easily cost $1,200 – $2,000 per month just for the training.

A lot of Facebook groups charge at least $199 per month just to be a member too.

But it’s not going to cost you anywhere near that.

Listen, I’m not here to get rich off of you.

I have a full-time career.

I just want to empower women all over the world that are struggling with divorce and I want to do my part to give back.

And this is the best way that I know how.

My personal promise and guarantee to you.

I know what divorce feels like and I know how painful it can be.

I want to help end the suffering right now.

And I don’t just want to end your suffering, I want to give you the tools and resources you need to build your most amazing life.

Listen, I know how powerful this community is and I know how much it will change your life. But if it doesn’t and if it’s not everything you dreamt it would be, you can leave the group.

You have nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain.

Come and join us.

Come become an Ailani

I’ll see you on the inside.

TeriAnn Trevenen

PS. Even if you choose not to join us at this time, I want you to know that I care about you as a woman. I want you to know that you are a powerful woman and you can create everything and anything you want in life. Surround yourself with other strong positive people and surround yourself with as much love as you can. Everything will be okay, and I believe in you.

Thanks for listening, and I’ll talk to you soon.